An Insecure Mind: What-ifs and Maybes

It looks very simple.

 

You miss them…

 

So you’ve to just go and tell them that you miss them…

 

Then what complicates it?

 

Ego?  Maybe.

 

Fear? Majorly.

 

What if they take me for granted?

 

What if they think I am always clingy? Maybe I’ll shed tears. Can I? What if they have changed a lot and what if they start judging my intentions?

 

What if they know that I’d miss them and that they’re just waiting for me to talk? If so, why can’t they come and talk?

 

What if they will feel as if I am taking up a lot of their time and space? Maybe they think I am pushing it and maybe it suffocates them!

 

What if I don’t talk to them for some days and maybe they’ll miss me and come back to me? Maybe they’ll talk voluntarily if they think I don’t miss them.

 

What if they think that the distance and silence they share with me, is much more peaceful than my presence?

 

What If I go and tell them how much I miss them and they just send me back a “Me too”?

 

What if I end up pestering them and ‘irritation’ replaces ‘affection’?

 

What if they have already replaced me with someone else?

 

What if I go talk to them now, and they shower me with their affection just like how they used to do long before and What if I end up raising my hopes again and what if they leave me again in a similar situation? Maybe I should never raise my hopes again.

 

What if all those “I love you“s they said were true? Maybe their “I miss you“s and “I’ll never leave you”s weren’t true.

 

I know they’re going to leave someday. What if it’s now? Maybe they don’t even think of me.

 

Or maybe they’re those rare people who can stay the longest in my life. If so, should I just wait and breathe some time? What if they don’t really see me as a long-term relationship kind?

 

What if they’re already over me? Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t. Is it worth taking a shot to go and talk? Or be waiting to take the shot? Are they worth all these thoughts? Or maybe I should think a lot more and be more careful before taking any steps?