Are We Afraid to Think More?
Are we afraid to think? Or is it because of a blind egoistic trust we have on our statements that we don’t find a need to think an inch more?
An Insecure Mind: What-ifs and Maybes
Just when we feel that we have got it all sorted out, this uncertain life of us, throws at us some situations, people, etc and disrupts the clarity..
It’s like the popular quote, “When you find the answer, life changes it’s question”.
Out of the blue you meet someone, you get attached to them, time creates illusions and unsettlement, you start to feel insecure, you start missing them and your mind starts to over think.
Most of us have gone through this phase of ‘insecurity’. Such phases are one of the best learning curves in our lives.
So What exactly does a person feel or think during those insecure phases?
I have listed down some of the “What-ifs and Maybes that run in an insecure mind”
“It’s good to be nice to everyone. But…”
“No matter how strong you’re mentally, you can never be the shoulder to lean upon for everyone you care and it is a harsh truth we all have to accept.” No matter how much time you invest in being that person for some people, after a certain point, you’ll feel as if all you’re just a punching bag for them and that you can’t take any more negativity! There’s always this pressure on top of us to be the strongest support system and to take all of it. For some special people in your life, of course, no matter what it takes, no matter even if you’re in the worst of times, you’ll be there for them, and it need not necessarily be just for our own satisfaction of being there for them! But that’s not the case for everyone you care isn’t! Maybe that’s another reason why they are really ‘special‘. The most important thing we’ve to understand is that we can never take the risk of losing ourselves in the process of being there for others. Sounds selfish? You’ve to be! It’s good to be nice to everyone. But it’s even healthier to be nice to yourself first.
Random Thoughts #6
I don’t know if I am the only one who feels this way or not. So for example, let’s say you read and liked a post I wrote about a particular subject or you are interested in something I told you before (say, a film director/movie/any celebrity etc). Now, it’s not necessary that I should know anything else about the subject, other than the context which I have written or spoken of. Even if it is relevant to the context, it’s highly impossible for me to have all my knowledge about that context at my disposal for you, whenever and wherever you’re asking me and especially when it is something that’s completely irrelevant to the other topics which we were talking about that time. People have to understand that personal choices, opinions and ideologies are framed in our mind after a series of thought processes and it requires that frame of mind and for some people it will require that particular mood to talk about it. If you’re asking me via a text message or a comment, then I can take my own time to think about it and answer it. But when it comes to other interpersonal communication channels, it’s tough because consciously I know for a fact that you’re there either staring at me or giving me that awkward silence, expecting me to give a quick reply and hence I end up yakking something that’s incomplete or something that’s not very true, because of the pressure and later, after some time, go on to state the exact fact about it. I maybe a hypocrite regarding this issue and if I ever made you feel uncomfortable like this, I apologize. PS: Now I feel how absurd that joke- “students have to answer all the questions in all the subjects but even the teacher will not be able to do it” – really is.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Like a cast of spell it makes us to see things differently. It will be the very same person, you’ve seen for a long time, in parties and hangouts; It will be the very same person whose Facebook pics know your face more than them. But how is it that you can suddenly notice certain things which you never thought were that beautiful? The way they shake their head while they talk; the way their voice changes when they speak about love, or something they love; the resisting smile they throw at you in the mornings which can make every emotion in your conscious mind feel shy; the way their eyes react when you’re with them; the way they sit; the measured texts, now growing boundary less; On how their strict parents have left them to text late night beneath the sheets, which protects those rays of cell phone screen light kept at its lowest brightness level; The way they sip their coffee, as if nothing happened, after fighting it out at job to get permission for leave so that they can spend some time on your birthday; The care they show effortlessly; The way they flirt; The way your friends have become so comfortable with them; The way they take each step while walking in those sands with you; The way they can adjust their schedules so that they can be at the railway station, when you’re going on a trip; The way they describe you through their art; The good qualities you’ve got from them; The bad habits you’ve got from them, yet which you don’t regret; The way they can think a birthday wish; The way they fight; The way things you thought were clichés have become niches; The million other ways through which they show love. Even the way they break up with you can be beautiful. Are all these love? Or is love, the fact that you can observe all these things without effort!? People who believe in Real Magic don’t believe in tricks or logic. Not sure if i believe in Real Magic, but i do believe in Love, at least now
Random Thoughts #5: When the old “You”haunts
Have you ever felt that compelling pressure inside you when you know that all it takes to gain respect/ love/ attention/ friendship/care, etc from a particular person was to be like a person whom you can imagine of or to be someone whom you were in your past? Maybe you know that you changed and events in life evolved and made you into a better version of yourself, but the pressure to become that old person is too much. The reasons for such a feeling need not necessarily be restricted to another person; it can be about your workplace environment, your career, goals, and social relationships or hey, it can just be your mind and nothing else. Have you lived in those times when you have practiced a new routine or a new lifestyle for so many days, yet something or other, even if doesn’t entail another human, makes you feel like you’re getting back your old weaknesses which you conquered once and that you’ve no idea what you’re now and if all this is like a loop? You may face times when you doubt yourself, that if you’re slowly becoming that old person and if you’re embracing the vulnerabilities you had. The way i see it, no matter how much self confidence and emotional strength you’ve got, you may still feel the doubt, but whether or not to think upon the doubt is in your mind. Over thinking in this regard may harm your self confidence a lot. If you’re able to live through this feeling and if you’re able to be yourself, completely, even if you haven’t gained much respect/ or love or anything you wanted or even if things did not happen the way you wanted it to happen, still you’re a very successful ‘person’
Random Thoughts #4
Whenever you’re addressing an elderly person, especially when you’re conveying something which seems to be in the tone of advising them or pointing out some mistake they did or giving suggestions, try to be humble and respect the fact that they’re elderly to you and also convey this respect for their experience. Maybe you want them to take the message so seriously. Maybe you are talking facts and maybe you have the evidences or assumptions with you. Maybe you’re talking with reference to something that happened in your life. Maybe you have crossed a very difficult path and you know things better than the other person. Still, if you really want to help them out, do appreciate their experience and convey this to them. You obviously don’t want them to embrace their egoistic side, avoid your valuable message and end up falling into the pit which you feared not to happen to them. It is completely fine to be egoistic in this matter. An elderly person will have a mind-set that they’re more capable of handling emotions and their experience will feed their ego. Let’s take a simple example, let’s say that you were in 5th or 6th standard when you remotely understood or you started thinking/hearing words like Kiss, Love and Sex. Or let’s say that you started using or hearing swear words. It seemed normal for you then. But when you’ve become a matured person relatively, seeing another kid who is studying in 5th or 6th, talking about kiss, love, sex and using swear words is going to make you feel weird. You’ll probably be pissed off and you will be worried about the parenting or the environment the kid is having. Even if you know the fact that you were like him, you’ll still feel a bit weird by that. This ego is pretty normal. Kids aged 5, these days are using Ipads and Iphones which you may feel is very bad but you have to understand that there was a period when people thought movies and television were not for children. This ego is because of our understanding that we think that we’re in the right age to know or feel about something and hence a younger person would not be able to relate to it. This sort of judging comes pretty naturally these days. People are going to come to you and start sharing their personal problems or start talking about something important and the minute they come to know that you’re too young, they’re going to dismiss you. Conveying the fact that you’re respecting their experience has nothing to do with the frankness of your message or the tone of your message. Maybe the person is going to dismiss your message regardless of you stating it or not, but it is always better to state this and then at the least feel satisfied that you’ve tried helping them out in some way honestly. “Age is just a number” will sound cool only in some situations and mostly only to you in this regard.
Sully: Kelly Sullenbeger
On 15th January 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 which, three minutes after take-off from New York City’s LaGuardia, struck a flock of Canada Geese just northeast of the George Washington Bridge and consequently lost all engine power. Unable to reach any airport, pilots Chesley Sullenberger and Jeffrey Skiles glided the plane to a ditching in the Hudson River off midtown Manhattan. All 155 people aboard were rescued by nearby boats and there were few serious injuries. It was reported that immediately after the bird strike, Captain Sullenberger contacted the Air Controllers and obtained permission to land in the Teleboro Airport as he felt it was impossible to land back at LaGuardia airport as the altitude was very low. But unfortunately Captain felt that the altitude was very low to land it in Teleboro Airport too and hence decided to land it in the Hudson River. This incident was called as the “Miracle of the Hudson” and “The most successful ditching in the Aviation history”. A investigation was made on the incident and later on it was concluded that landing in the Hudson River was the best option that the Captain had to save the 155 passengers on-board. This incident propelled Captain Chesley Sullenberger to national fame. A Movie, directed by Clint Eastwood, was made on this incident [ Sully(2016) ]. Amongst the lot of emotions that was running in my mind after watching the movie, I really wanted to know about the emotions that Kelly and Kate, the 2 daughters of Chesley Sullenberger, would have had in those days of turmoil after that life changing event, when they had to face some events that no one ever imagined would happen. It is hard to replicate the feelings of a person whom i hardly know and who’s miles away from me. So I tried to collect as many information, it was possible to collect through the internet, and give a near perfect culmination about the emotion that was going through in the minds of Kelly Sullenberger. I read blog posts posted by other people who knew Kelly,and her neighbour; I stalked their Instagram and Facebook accounts to find something which would help me write this. So every detailing i have done is very precise to an extent, like the sense of humour of her sister Kate or the fact that her most memorable family outing was to the Disney Land. So let me tell you that this just an imaginary writing and it is not meant to disrespect or to harm the person concerned or any other person related to her. Hello there. This is Kelly Sullenberger. I have always been reluctant to share my experiences during the famous January 15 2009 event and what happened the days following that. But after all these years , now feel like expressing all those emotions through this post. This is about the daughter of a famous pilot who landed a passenger Airbus US Flight 1549, which was in a very critical state after a bird strike left both the engines damaged, on Hudson River to save 155 lives. This is about a 14 year old girl who lived through an incident which endangered her father’s life and also which made her witness her hero become her nation’s hero. But more than that, this is about a daughter who was worried a bit more than any other day, about her father who worked as a pilot. I still remember what we were doing that day. Kate and i were talking about the newly opened restaurant in Danville near our school. We were just playing around when Mom got a call. After brief moments she asked us to switch on the T.V and Kate immediately switched it on. That was a moment, a pilot’s kids should never ever witness. We couldn’t believe what the flash news was about. A huge passenger Airbus was floating on a river. There was no news flashing about the details of the passengers. I was worried about the people who were in it. The news reporter started reading out the report and i immediately increased the volume of the television. As the news reporter read out that the captain of the Airbus who decided to land it on the Hudson river was Chesley Sullenberger, i started contemplating the possibilities of what would have happened and about the news that the phone call passed on to Mom. Kate and I couldn’t control any more. We looked at mom. She would have understood how we felt. With a voice filled with firmness she said, “Daddy’s fine. He was the one who called” A fresh breathe of relief we had. I distinctly remember the days that followed the incident. Kate and I were glued to the televisions. There was a huge crowd of reporters and media persons outside our house. We couldn’t go out even to our neighbor Kelsey Ott’s house. Dad was the talk of the week in Danville, in San Francisco bay, and in America. Dad called mom the next day and informed that it would take some more days for him to come as there was an investigation scheduled. Kate overhead mom talking to someone about how dad was finding it difficult to sleep. We were worried a lot and we couldn’t sleep properly for some nights thereafter too. Kate and I used to talk a lot and were supportive to each other during those days. Kate’s sense of humour came to good use during those days. Being the daughter of a pilot is very tough. It takes a lot to understand when your dad is out there risking his life to make good lives for your family. During one of those days, as i had to be homebound due to the huge crowd out there and since I was sick of all those theories flashed in news which were against my dad, I sat home and read all those short quotes and pictures I designed to show