Relationships – Big Boss?
In any kind of relationship, whether it is with your best bud from school or a new colleague in your office, it is always going to be hard if you are going to have a mind-set which is definitive about everything you share with people.
Such people are always noticed defining things, for example, like what is closeness, what is care, what is expression, how much you should express, how much time it should take to declare out as being close and so on, everything based on all the relationships they’ve had previously. This creates a tendency in their minds to extract out what they want from the other person in the equation than understanding what they actually are. In such types of relationships, “Being yourself” is a luxury spa zone, which you get to enter only when the other person is not much into the equation. It’s just like a Luxury Budget prize which you get to win once in a blue moon (just adding something for the Bigg boss fans)
Few equations just click instantly and a yeah few other equations may take time, no doubt, but having a predetermined mind-set about it is only going to create some unwanted tension. This mind-set is often confused with “Having Expectations”. Let me inform you, that this is an entirely different topic. Having expectations out of someone will turn out to be something very natural, as time goes. In simple words, if the issues relating to these expectations are like Speed breakers in a relationship, determining and commanding as to how the other person should be and how they’ve to behave or any such definitions, is like a road block. It might open up sometimes, but if you’re going to travel in the same road, you’ll be left to pay a hefty toll fare someday.
In most cases the “victim” in such relationships is the person who believes that “it’s completely normal and that it just means a few adjustments for the other person and which by the way is also normal”. It is not normal and you shouldn’t fool yourself using this “Adjustment Trump Card”. If you have to forego this in order to sustain a relationship, pay a heavy Toll fare that leads you to nowhere or take a detour and let that surprise you while you keep yourself intact.